When I first wrote about FSAD last year, I had a number of comments from readers, saying some version of “finally, a lone voice in the wilderness,” to “you don’t know my wife.”

A recent question from a reader egged me on to revisit the topic, partly because she was sure I was trying to say there is no such thing as FSAD, Female Sexual Affective Disorder.

So, let’s get that cleared up right away.

I have no problem at all with the concept of FSAD. It’s real. It does exist. There are many women who do not experience sexual arousal or sexual feelings. It is a dreadful condition, and there is still not a consensus on what the causes are or the appropriate treatment should be.

The difficulty I have is with the way it is commonly “diagnosed” and then treated with a version of medication similar to what is used for men with ED.

In a post titled “What Do You Mean, I Have FSAD,” I told of a woman who was accused by a new love of having FSAD, and needing to be fixed.

After hearing the full story, I had a different diagnosis.

This post triggered more questions, including some from women who really did have FSAD, wanting more information.

So, I wrote about Just What is FSAD, and why it is a controversial diagnosis, and the research that led to the definition of the condition.  (It was not clinical/medical research, but taken from the results of a survey conducted by a sociologist. )

The survey was written in such a way that just about any woman could be expected to have at least one of the questions. That one “yes” was enough to have her labeled as having FSAD.

A later post, “Not Tonight Honey,” which I have to admit was somewhat of a rant, focused on how many women could be classified as having FSAD even though the “symptoms” they were experiencing were simply normal changes all women experience as they get older.

Unwittingly, I’d started a story that couldn’t stop. By now I was getting requests for more information on both The Selfish Lover Syndrome, and The Lazy Lover Syndrome, the two half-humorous, but deadly real, reactions some partners have to women who are struggling with the normal changes of aging that make making love difficult, painful, or too hurried for women to experience the satisfaction they enjoyed with they were younger.

Just follow the links to read the whole story…and then let me know what you think.

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